Tag: staying victim

Overcoming Self-Limiting Labels


Anytime we label ourselves anything negative, we are cutting off our potential growth and our capacity to thrive. Using terms that label you unlovable, small, unable, victim, incapable or weak are mind-altering, debilitating words that if you let them, will inhibit all that you desire or secretly wish to achieve in this life.

The power a label has is in direct proportion to the disabling energy we assign to them. Their potency and meaning are only derived from our beliefs about them.

When I am out in my neighborhood on my walks and bike rides, I often see a certain gentleman. He jogs along at a fast pace with his devoted, leash-less black Labrador keeping pace with his stride. Both of them smiling as largely and beautifully as they can. Every time I see him I think, Damn. Look at him go! He’s so fit! AND he’s wearing a prosthetic leg! I can only imagine how losing a partial limb could wreak much havoc on one’s psyche and additionally, the pain involved in recovery I imagine can be quite mind effing. Dang, that had to have taken so much tenacity and courage. Just LOOK at him go!!

I think often of my dear friend whose MS has left her legally blind and no longer able to drive a car or see most any writing out in the world. She has also been an avid reader her entire life. Again, the label of “blind” could be very mind blowing and limiting. However, she found ways to maneuver around her sight limitations by not attaching to her label. She had special glasses made, adjusted her electronics to have large writing, found a phone that speaks her texts out loud, gives herself permission to take breaks when her eyes fatigue and if needed, she orders audio books! She refrained from labeling herself “incapable” and instead found a way to thrive in her circumstance by doing what inspires her most!

Disclaimer moment: I am not saying that disabilities are not real or deserve the attention that they require. I’m speaking about the energy we attach to our labels and how we live our lives in union with them.

Labels are like manacles slowly squeezing the color out of our souls until we are but a mere shadow of what we were intended to be.

The same holds true in relationships. If we label ourselves unworthy of love by such statements as: I’m old, I’m fat, I’m skinny, I’m ugly, No one wants me, There are no good men/women, I’m stupid, I will always be alone, I suck at relationships etcetera, we will never find what we would so desire.

Overcoming self-limits is the key to achieving anything we desire in life!

I’ve seen remarkably loving and reciprocal relationships that span the board of what one could perceive as a limitation in oneself or their partner. In each of these beautiful relationships, neither partner saw the limitation in themselves or their partner. Because the truth is, there never was one!

I have a semi-illiterate client (born in a low economic country) who married a wheelchair bound man when she was 17 years old. They have been together for over 42 years!

Label: I’m not worthy of a relationship because I cannot read well.

Label true? NOPE.

Label: I’m not lovable or worthy of a relationship because I am in a wheelchair.

Label true? NOPE.

Our minds are incredibly powerful! What we think, we manifest. Life can undoubtedly suck at times. I have experienced many life traumas and dramas and the one’s I didn’t experience myself, I stood witness in close proximity to as someone I love experienced those.

Hands down, the people who chose not to be a victim of life are the ones who are thriving today! They saw their setbacks as opportunities for comebacks and they made it happen.

I have a hard time these days listening to someone cry a river over a thought they are repeatedly replaying over and over in their mind. Yes, I know the thing that happened to you sucked and sucked BADLY. I understand completely. I have compassion for you and I love you. I also know we have choices in life – a choice to thrive or a choice to merely get by.

I believe the reason we are so inspired by others who overcome tremendous life obstacles is because we know how incredibly tough it is to break through the limiting beliefs and push oneself to greatness even though we have no contract ensuring our victory. It is almost as if we are running a race in fog imagining a finish line even though we were not informed where it is! We just keep going. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot.

This is where faith in a power greater than ourselves, comes into play.

Opening our hearts and minds to a power so great that it holds galaxies together, unlocks the door of abundance and healing! When we say Yes to life, the Universe steps in to help us. This is the place where we pick ourselves up and fight for a great life or we continue to ignore the pleading of our souls and quit. We may try to believe no one has ever had it as bad as we do, and I beg to differ. Somewhere out there, someone has experienced worse AND still chose to thrive.

I remember during “my tsunami” I felt like it was the end of my life. That it would never get better. This was it. My life is over. It’s just going to suck from here on out! And then… I would witness my friend, who had lost his wife and daughter to a drunk-driving incident, pressing forward each and every day and I would think to myself: Are you freaking kidding me, Kristen?! He lost his family and you’re blubbering over this?!

I later saw a show where a woman lost her mother and her children (I think there were 3) in a house fire.

Omg! What?!

The show was covering how a person experiences tragedy and chooses healing no matter what. I had to fight against myself to not change the channel because my chest literally hurt and my breathing became labored. I stayed in it, because I knew to run from it was to avoid a piece of healing in myself. I witnessed her pain, her strength, her faith, her hope, her inspiration, her good days, her bad days and her drive to reclaim her life. She had made a choice to thrive no matter how grim it looked or how long it took. She is a true warrior. ((sigh))


Each one of us on this planet is put here to thrive. Yes, we have obstacles to overcome and I agree it ain’t easy! I also know where there is Will, a way will be presented. The key is to remove the blocks we have built around our perceived limitation and find another way! What we are led to, we will be led through if we open our minds and hearts to a new way, a different way.

Let us always watch out for how we label ourselves and our circumstance. We were not put here to merely survive; we were put here to THRIVE. We have tools available to help us, but we must be willing to open our hearts and look for them.

In the middle of all of this, let us always remember to be gentle with ourselves on our journeys. One step at a time.

You got this.

I believe in you.