Tag: releasing the ego

Consider Your Motive

Before you make any emotional decision, consider your motive. Our motive is the energy behind the words we say and the behaviors we exhibit. Each word or act we choose has an energy all its own.   No matter what lie we tell ourselves as to why we are doing what we are doing, the energetic motive is still there. We simply cannot hide it or run from it.  It is energy, it is truth and it will be felt.

One of the rules I live by is this:

We cannot hide from one another. We may think that we can but, rest assured, eventually we will be found out.  So why even bother? It is much better to speak our truth with love and without the intent to harm.  This is how we stay in integrity.

We are energetic beings who are constantly emitting frequencies to those around us.  I’m sure you’ve experienced how one person may feel so good to be around and another may feel toxic and dank.  You didn’t ask to feel the energy.  You didn’t have to tune in. It was just there.  You probably didn’t know why you knew what you knew, but you knew it nonetheless!

Same goes for all of our actions.  We may think we are hiding and that others don’t know we are being manipulative, fearful or controlling, but I assure you, even if you are good enough to keep it from other humans, you will never be so good to keep it from the Universe.  Universal energy connects with our energy and every vibe we emit, will attract like vibe back to us.

Why is it that our motive matters?  Because we are in control of our experience and if we don’t clean up our energetic act, we will continue to suffer and continue to attract the same negative energy (experiences/people/circumstances) into our lives.

Recently, I was faced with a situation where I needed to respond to a person. In the past, this person had caused tremendous upheaval in our lives and I would have been quite justified in constructing a classy f*ck you in response. All who know of the situation agreed that it was more than okay for me to speak my truth.  It really was a slam dunk kind of story.  I thought long and hard and penned a beautiful, classy response and even got it approved by my most conscious, truth telling friends. Each one agreed it was well-worded and stood up for me in a quietly powerful way.  The time had come for me to hit “send” and I didn’t…  I couldn’t…  I questioned what my hold up was?  Was this fear?  But it was not…

What was holding me back was my motive.  The hidden, subconscious motive (that slipped by all my buddies) was that my response was energetically aimed to harm, not to heal.  It was rooted in darkness (ego), not in Light.  I was intending to separate, not to unify and I knew it.  I wanted to hurt this person as they had hurt us and I almost acted just…like…they…did!

I had not conducted myself through all the past drama with dignity, grace and class to ruin it all with a hidden motive.  My integrity was squeaky clean regarding any responses or exchanges with this person up until now, and I almost blew it based on the hidden urging of my lower self/ego.  I felt much better when I chose a response that was powerful, but rooted in love instead of attack.

Learning to stop, think and consider before making a decision or responding to another, is the behavior of the empowered!  When we don’t feel driven to prove we are right, we have responded from our Highest Self.  As long as we keep our energy high and do our best, the Universe will reciprocate in kind.  Allow your energy to be far more valuable than a fleeting moment of instant gratification brought on by a cheap shot.

Let us always remember that we are responsible for ourselves (and our energy) at all times. Let God handle the crappy characters in your life.  Keep your hands (and energy) clean.  It is simply not worth it to lower yourself to another’s level, ever.

Consider your motives and you’ll be quite happy that you did!




Kindness vs. Attack

With affairs of the heart, we tend to want to grasp, cling and try to control because we are so afraid of getting hurt, losing control or losing the love.  We try to manipulate and morph our person into who we think he\she should be in order for us to feel comfortable. What we have not yet understood, is that all of those behaviors cause separation instead of unity.  Attack and control never really gain any forward ground.  We may be able to beat our partner into submission temporarily, but no true healing or connectedness has occurred.

In times of strife in our relationships, gentleness and kindness is key.  When we can find a balance between our self-worth and self-respect and couple that with kindness, we can gain much ground toward improving our union.  Kindness open hearts and allows for sight and sound and all anyone really ever wants is to feel seen and heard.  Once someone feels seen and heard, egos relax and healing can happen.  We simply will not get very far with manipulation strategies and forcing others’ to acquiesce to our ways.

Love is the great miracle cure.

Love (not meaning goo-goo ga-ga, I’m-going-to-die-without-you love), but Real Love, the kind that encompasses the graces of compassion, forgiveness, understanding, insightfulness and kindness is the entryway to conflict resolution. Any actions rooted in love, including well-thought out and placed boundaries, are never wrong.  What is rooted in Love, is rooted in truth and it is truth that can set us free.

This is not to say that this plan is foolproof for ALL relationships.  It’s all depending on both individual parties and where each one is at in his/her own spiritual growth/path.  If a person truly wants for healing, your kindness and gentleness can be just the key to allow this to happen. If your person doesn’t value you or your union, nothing is going to work.

In my life, I’ve experienced both types of these partners: The partners who were not at all interested in growing or forming a more solid bond between us no matter what method of approach I used and the partner who truly wanted to seek for peace and healing and was willing to do what it took to get there.  The former chose to stay stuck and living in his limited existence.  The latter was willing to look at himself (as well as “call me out” appropriately) in order to enhance each others’ lives, seek resolution and to live more joyfully together.

Standing where I am now, I know for sure that having a firm sense of self-worth coupled with the kindness in our heart, can perform miracles in our relationships. Where we were once misunderstood, we can now be heard.  Where there was once fear, there can now be safety.  Where there was once separation and conflict there can now be true connection and peace.