Tag: recovering doormat

Recognizing Your Doormat Tendencies

It can be a very difficult thing to admit where we have been a doormat in our lives.  I hear the excuses repeatedly in others’ words as I, too, historically had heard the excuses repeatedly in my own.  The thing we have to realize, is the mechanics of “why” we have such a hard time admitting the truth of our behaviors.  Most often it is not because we don’t want see it, but because our ego does not want us to see it.  It is fighting against our growth.   Our ego is very cunning and very sly.  It can fill our heads with bounties of shame and belittlement, in a sense forcing us to ignore the truth before us.  Since, we already have a poor self-worth (shame), to admit yet another “fault” can feel like too much to bear so we subconsciously keep it hidden in hopes to hold onto some semblance of worth – even if it is false worth.

When we begin to recognize our doormat behaviors, the doors begin to swing wide open for healing and advancement and over time, this would mean death to the ego (our lower self).  I have to admit I have heard some pretty darn creative excuses in my time!  Each and every time, I come to know even more deeply how much power we give over to our to our egos and how little we have honored our authentic selves.

The road to empowerment is all about radical honesty with self.  It’s about standing up and saying:

Yes, I handed my power over to him/her right there!  This is precisely the place I go wrong every time.

Oftentimes, I believe we are deeply afraid to admit our doormat areas because that will mean we have to do something different right now, this minute, and we simply are not yet healed or prepared enough to do so.

Rest assured, admittance is only the first step to healing.  No one can make you do anything that you are not truly ready for.  Know and understand that recognition of your disempowered ways is merely the gateway to building up your strength, faith and courage to be able to act from a higher place whenever you are ready to do so.

Recovering from doormat hood is just that… a recovery.  It takes time, commitment and tenacity to start to living empowerment in all areas of your life.  To whole-heartedly admit your doormat tendencies, is to say YES to a better way of living… A life of brimming with respect, honor and fulfilled dreams.

From Doormat to Sweet Empowerment Introduction

from doormat to sweet empowerment book cover

Dear Empowerment Seeker,
After a major life upset brought me to my knees, I set course to heal the unhealthy relationship patterns repeating in my life. I didn’t know how this was going to happen, but I was willing to do whatever it took. It took me two years (by myself) of dedicated work to heal what I now recognize as shame and unworthiness recovery. The results of my work were so astounding, so life-altering, I realized I had cracked the empowerment code.

There is a shame and unworthiness epidemic that plagues humanity. Our healing points show up in our people-pleasing (doormat), approval seeking, controlling, self-protection, mask wearing and desperate behaviors. We all (males and females) have wounds that require healing to attract and maintain the life and relationships we’ve always craved. My goal for writing this book is to help you shorten the learning curve so you can experience your dream life as soon as possible. I’ve done it and I can help you get there.

I have taught this concept to hundreds of people and those truly dedicated to the work, achieved their goal! Healing doesn’t just happen by wishing it so. We must be willing to take radical responsibility for our lives, intake and study new concepts then retrain our conditioned mind by applying what we’ve learned. Healing work is not “difficult”, it’s simply a new method of operating. I sectioned this book into 9 Modules. A module is defined as any number of distinct but interrelated units from which a program may be built. Each module in this book is a component of Shame and Unworthiness Recovery. All equally important.

All stories are true life situations of my own, coaching/consulting clients, friends and family. All names have been changed to protect and respect the privacy of others.
Although I now passionately teach shame and unworthiness recovery, I am a work in progress. I continue to take responsibility for my life, expand my knowledge and practice new concepts and tools. Empowerment is not a destination; it is a way of living.

I invite you, the purchaser of this book, to read the text slowly, high-light concepts you’d like to revisit, complete the exercises, journal your thoughts and apply what you’ve learned. Keep moving forward no matter what!

Always remember, life is a process. Healing is a process. Change is a process. Be gentle with yourself while on your journey. Stay your course, encourage and congratulate yourself often and most importantly, honor yourself for the unique and sacred individual that you are! You are deserving and capable of living a beautiful life!
I am extremely honored to assist you on your healing path.

I believe in you!
Kristen