Tag: personal empowerment

Empowerment Begins Outside Your Comfort Zone

One of the most frightening things a doormat can encounter is the first few times he/she sticks up for him/herself or makes a decision firmly rooted in self-love. This moment can feel so wrong!  It can feel way out of bounds and definitely way outside  our comfort zone! But that is just it! We need to break our old patterns and step courageously out of our comfort zones.  Our comfort zones are the reason we have accepted the unacceptable and are living a minimal life in the first place.

So far, this pattern has only repeatedly created the same type of scenarios over and over again in our lives.  If we want something different, we must choose to DO something different. Most often, we know exactly what we should do, but we refrain for fear of the unknown, rocking the boat or potentially losing another’s love.  No one said beginning to live an empowered life was going to be easy.  It WILL take courage.  The good news is, we all have it!  We just have to choose to locate it and put it into action.

The most common belief a doormat will say is, “…but I feel selfish if I do for myself.”  There is absolutely NO selfishness in self-love.  Period.  There simply cannot be.  Where there is Light there cannot be dark.  Love is Light and selfishness is dark.  Get it?

What most doormats don’t know is that when we begin to make empowered decisions (decisions rooted in a healthy self-worth), we actually create a magnificent ripple effect.  Within this ripple effect we:

a)  Teach others what is no longer acceptable, thus creating better treatment from others.

b) We serve as an example to our children and peers how to choose better for ourselves/themselves.

c)  We shift our energy from lack to abundance and unworthy to worthy.   *All life is energy.  This is more powerful than you may think.

d)  We begin to attract new and better opportunities and people into our lives.

e) Our strength and boundaries become growth opportunities for others around us because our empowerment will no longer enable our beloveds, but encourage and support their own growth.

Additionally, we begin to notice how most often our boundaries are perfectly accepted by others.  There was no love lost, no over-turned ship and the unknown we were fearing, turned out to be a more peaceful soul and a better sense of worth and purpose.  The very thing we held ourselves back from was the precise thing we needed to do to enhance our lives and bring us closer to joy and our dreams.

In closing, please remember this….  You don’t have to create your new life in one day.  Take it one decision at a time.  Allow yourself to strengthen and heal your worth more and more as you go.  I assure you that what you will find over time is your empowered decisions become easier and easier until they simply become a part of you.


Encouragement Over Advice

I recently attended a seminar where the speaker kept correcting  members of the audience.  When they asked for her “advice”, she quickly changed the word to “encouragement.”  When I heard that, a resounding YES!  sprang forward in my mind.  I have always been uncomfortable with the word “advice”.  Somehow it implied that I was better than another or all-knowing and it came laden with a certain type of pressure.  There was a certain degree of self-sabotage that came with that word for me.

When I decided to become a coach/mentor, never did I think I was any more “special” than another.  The true push was that I had discovered a way out of the unworthiness that was driving my life and I felt on fire to help lift others out of their suffering as well. I wanted everyone to know the personal freedom and love that was available to us and just how to get there!

The truth of what I do as a mentor and coach is to help remind others who they are, to trust what they already know is true for them and to ENCOURAGE their courageous warrior within.  This does not make me better than anyone or some sort of guru.  It only means I chose victory over circumstance and prevailed.

In retrospect of my life, I realized that the encourager I am is a gift.  It’s not something I cultivated or practiced.  It is something that I have always done. It dates as far back as I can remember.  It’s part of me.  It’s my DNA.  In fact, it is so natural to me that I often assumed that everyone was this way and had many times felt hurt when I felt no one had my back or “got” me so to speak.

As time passed I realized that some people are good encouragers and others simply are not.  It wasn’t for me to judge them for they had other spiritual gifts to share with the world.  It was my responsibility to seek out mentors and teachers that built me up instead of relying on my expectations of others. Instead, I sought out others who had been where I am and had just the right words to encourage my courage to move forward and try doing something differently.

When I heard the speaker switching those two words, I knew had found a better feeling place for myself.  A potential block, keeping me from growing my business and reaching greater heights, was diminished in 20 seconds flat.  The pressure that one tiny word put on me was gone for good.  I don’t give advice, I give encouragement.  I help others recognize their worth and make empowering choices that will lead to a better fulfilled life.

In gratitude to my teachers of yesterday, today and tomorrow.  Thank you.