I used to observe the stubborn people around me and wonder why on earth they felt the need to take a stand over something so minute or something that clearly wasn’t going to serve anyone’s highest good. I observed it. I studied it. I went within. I took it to God. Then I realized that stubbornness is often born to those who feel powerless in life. Somewhere along the line they learned that the only way to be heard, to get what they wanted or to matter was to burrow in so deep they were unmovable. To the stubborn one this may (for a moment) feel like strength; however, soon thereafter a piece of them will feel silly for their narrow views and bratty behavior and regret will follow.
We simply do not have to act like petulant children to get what we want out of life. Stubbornness to achieve a well-placed, well-intended goal is great. Stubbornness born out of a need to feel powerful is not. It causes disruption, disharmony and lack of connection. It separates one from another. Believe it or not, it makes “your” vision more important than another’s vision. And if we are really honest with ourselves, when our stubborn stance is challenged by others’ opinions, we may start to see a better way but feel too embarrassed to retract our stand because we’ve made such a fuss. Now we are stuck with the previous choice and the regret that will inevitably follow. The stubborn one has no idea that his cry for empowerment has trumped his true power and all he has successfully proven is how ridiculous he can be.
How To Release Stubbornness
When we do the work to heal our lack of worthiness (yes, that sneaky devil is behind this) we stop feeling the need to dig in. We become open to options and opinions and actually welcome input from others because worthiness understands we can’t know it all and there may be some great information out there worth listening to. The empowered understands that “personal power” comes from knowledge and wisdom and taking all external information and processing it effectively to make the best choice. There is peace in this process where as stubbornness feels prickly and uncomfortable for all involved.
Worthiness doesn’t allow us to backdoor our way to power. It naturally exudes strength through active listening, research and exploring options. When we feel and know our worth, we let go of our disjointed behaviors that may be causing disruption where there really needn’t be any and replace them with solid, educated decisions.
I understand that sometimes there is a necessity to hold firm in front of certain people and any sign of perceived “weakness” may be exploited to the point that your opinion goes unnoticed. However, isn’t it better to gather information prior to making your final decision rather than having to backtrack later after you’ve made such a fuss? The latter only proves further that the stance you’ve so vehemently took was for naught. With that, we teach others that our stance is weak and eventually we will be proven ineffective. Our stubbornness eventually becomes a joke to those around us and they eventually lose faith in our decision making capabilities. In the end, we will get exactly what we were trying to avoid.
Empowerment is allowing yourself time to discover ALL options.
Empowerment means being open to a change of heart.
Empowerment is the giving of kudos to another when they’ve enlightened you to a better way.
Empowerment is taking time to decide your position prior to digging your heels in.
Empowerment is exuding your personal power naturally without bullying tactics or hard lines.
Empowerment is gentle but firm.
Is it time for you to let your stubborn nature go? A change in perception can change your direction right here, right now. The choice is yours.