The Sweet Empowerment Podcast Episode #48 show notes.
Recognize your guarded heart – Own it. But don’t judge it. Recognize where your guarded heart is causing destruction or difficulties in your relationships and life.
Pinpoint the moment of lock down – It’s possible you might be open sometimes then close up when certain situations trigger it.
Identifying the moment or the “why” will aim you towards healing.
A person of my past said he would physically swallow anytime an unwanted emotion entered.
Change your story about feelings and an open heart – What was unsafe in childhood is often safe in adulthood because we are not at the mercy of superiors adults when we become an adult.
Use mantras –
I am safe to open my heart. I am in control of who I surround myself by and how I am treated.
No one will die if I share my feelings – sounds dramatic but often the psyche cannot distinguish emotional fear from physical fear – it fears death. Soothe the fear.
Practice gratitude – Gratitude does wonders! It releases fear, promotes mindfulness, focuses on the positives in our life, centers us and balances emotions. Practice at least once a day for 5 full minutes. While driving, showering, eating breakfast, at night before sleep.
Become childlike – Lighten the heck up! Guarded hearts are often, but not always, serious and stoic. Counteract seriousness by acting silly! Sing, dance, talk in funny voice, make faces, play games, play in grass or dirt, examine it, be curious.
Heal old wounds – If you have trauma in your background, seek help. Find a conscious therapist or coach to work with you. Your best life is on the other side of your healing.
Forgive people whose behavior caused you to close your heart. If you’re not yet capable – that’s okay – at least be willing. Tell God you are “willing” to forgive. God can do for us what we are not capable of doing for ourselves.
Meditate! – I believe meditation is the great emotional cure all! Everyone should meditate as much as possible. Even if only 1 minute a day. It clears your mind and helps to break dysfunctional patterns by changing the chemistry of our brain. For more about this, check out Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Great ap called 10% Happier. I highly suggest you download it. Great blogs and short meditations for free!
*I receive no dividends from either Dr. Joe or 10% Happier. I simply love sharing great things with you!
Practice disclosing/sharing intimate details about self – Operative word here “practice”. As with any healing, it takes time. Start by sharing something small about yourself, work your way up to something bigger. As Brene’ Brown says, “Share your story with someone who has earned the right to hear it.” That means with someone who you believe has your back and your highest good at heart.
Cry – Yes, please cry. It releases built up emotion. It also releases endorphins that make us feel good. If you’re unable to cry for you, cry for another by watching a sad movie. Get the ball rolling. And don’t stop until you feel satisfied.
Physically touch others – Initiate a hug. Touch people’s arms when you’re talking. Give loved ones random back caresses or play with their hair. Start small and move up. When you see you are safe, you will retrain your brain that physical touch is not only okay, it feels amazing.
Be gentle with yourself while in process – There is nothing tragically wrong with you. You are not fatally flawed. Everyone has their shiz to work on. This just happens to be yours. It’s okay. YOU are okay!