Category: Inspiration

A Sweet Empowerment Short- How to Stop Auto-Pilot Responses

Slow-Down

Last night this question was posed to me:

My reactions are so automatic, how do I catch them and choose differently before I speak or act?

In this piece, I list the 3 Step go-to process I use to help keep me out of recklessness and aligned with empowerment.

Step 1 – Awareness

By simply recognizing and owning your auto-pilot responses, you immediately alert your mind to a dysfunctional pattern within yourself that needs attention.

It’s about bringing forth unconscious, automatic behaviors into consciousness where they can be seen and healed.

This is the most important step. Congratulate yourself for recognizing your pattern!

Step 2 – Slow Down

The reason why we have auto-pilot responses is because they are part of the momentum of a learned behavior. In other words, they are our habits and patterns.

For example:

Imagine you are barreling down the road in your car going 90 mph and you have to stop quickly for something obstructing the road.  It’s super hard to stop the momentum of your car when it is going so fast. Quite often your car will go into an uncontrollable skid then crash into the object that you were trying to avoid.

Now imagine slowing down your speed to a cool and comfortable 35 mph.  At this speed, you have a chance to see the obstruction ahead which creates a much better chance of avoiding it by applying the brakes and safely stopping the car.

The same concept happens when we slow down our mind. We actually make space for a change in reaction.

But how do I slow down? I’ve been functioning this way for so long I don’t know how.

Step 3 – Practice meditation and presence

One of the hidden benefits of meditation is clearer thinking and better responses to stimuli. This happens by decreasing our stress and removing the emotional filters we historically processed through.

When we are not processing through a heightened state of being, we can plan better, consider other options and make better choices.

Furthermore, our clarity of thought and decreased emotional body helps us become even more creative and productive.

One of the best things I discovered from my meditation practice was how gentle I became with myself and others. I didn’t realize my practice was helping me until I began to observe how I differently I was responding to the world.

Slowing down can start as easily as repeating the mantra :

Slow down… slow down…  Everything is okay and in Divine Right order.

Please feel free to share your “slow down” practices in Comments. We’d love to hear them!

Much Love,

KB

 

 

Stop Trying to Control Everything

It’s funny how when we stop trying to control everything, things fall into place even better.

Once again the Divine stepped in and interceded with a much better plan than what was about to go down.  Here’s what happened…

I was in a texting conversation where a very important/touchy/heated topic was being discussed.  I felt very centered and connected to Source during this conversation.  No shenanigans or egoic rantings, just presence.  When BAM! my person attacked me hard.

Whoa… What the heck was that? I couldn’t believe what this person was saying to me. I took a second to let it sink in, then I prepared to fire back.

I started to push my screen to respond and nothing.  My phone was frozen. I tried again. Nothing.  I backed out of text and tried to use another app.  Nothing.  I tried turning off my phone to reset it.  Still nothing.

At first I was annoyed, then I started to panic!  Omg, what if I can’t respond?  What if this person thinks I’m ignoring them?  What if they think I’m being mean, rude or some other negative thing?

The ol’ worried people pleasing Kristen began to emerge.  Then all at a once I just stopped, sat back and my new pattern of surrender (not trying to control) took over.  (That in itself was fascinating to observe.) I decided to let this be exactly what it was – it is simply an inability to respond “right now.” I can always respond later.

I thought to myself:  Welp, apparently I am not supposed to respond now.  For some reason there needs to be space between our responses.  I’m going to trust this is Right because this is what is happening right now. Spirit knows better than I, and I’m going to trust that. 

Awhile later I received another text from my person. (my phone still frozen) This text was filled with clarity, humility and compassion.  It changed the entire direction and energy of the original conversation.

I realized my person had been reacting with fear rather than responding from center.  Their fear/self-protection was leading them to defend and attack rather than be clear and open.  The response I could not send, would have ignited more fear in them causing further separation between us.  It became quite apparent this space was created for us so to inspire a different possible outcome.  When my phone froze and I was unable to respond, my person had time to sort through their emotions thus responding from a higher place.

God/Source/Universe was guiding us and we didn’t even know it.

Because that pause was created, we had a completely different outcome than where we were headed. However, if I had tried to “control” by firing back at them, I will bet that conversation would have gotten uglier and lasted much longer than needed.

I don’t know why this stuff still fascinates me, but it does!  I’m forever in awe of the infinite intelligence of the universe.  Times like these cause me to reflect on how much chaos can be avoided when we’re willing to stop trying to control, control, control and let God in.

Let this fun little story be a reminder to us all that we are not alone in this life. God has our backs.

When we sloooooow down, practice quiet mind, and listening to our guidance, life begins to flow for us.  When we learn to flow with life rather than control everything, we stop interfering with Divine guidance and THAT is when the miracles happen!