Yesterday I was feeling angst. I didn’t know why, I couldn’t explain it, I just knew it was there. When I had a moment to have a conversation with a good friend, I started right smack in the middle. “I’m feeling grrrr today and I don’t know why. Have you noticed I’m off my game?” She agreed without judgment and asked me to explain further so I did.
As I recalled events of the previous few days, I was able to locate the cause of the grrrr and I could feel myself wanting to blame someone. However, knowing what I know, we blame when we are attempting to give away our power by putting the focus on another. Even though my ego was fighting me hard, I consciously knew it wasn’t the other person’s fault and there was something inside of me that needed my attention.
As we talked, I began to uncover the trigger my loved one had touched. A-ha! There it is… I was then able to discover the root belief/fear that was causing all the chaos and with even more certainty, I knew my person had really done nothing wrong. All this emotional chaos was about me.
Years ago when I went through “My Tsunami”, I was left fairly destitute. I say fairly because fortunately for me, I had family who swept us up and loved us back to healing. However, the foundation rocking that occurred had left a deep wound. My life has completely turned around; however, the wound has not been fully healed. My loved one’s fear had reopened my wound and unbeknownst to me, I was floating around in the unconscious space of fear, insecurity and lack once again. My wound had been touched and I was allowing it take over my well-being and emotions.
My fear had manifested as frustration and anger as it often does for us. Being a person who resonates centeredness the majority of the time, I recognized my grrrrr as unusual and fought my finger-pointing-blaming ego so I could take the steps to locate the cause and hopefully feel better!
As all empowerment work, it is our duty to keep close tabs on ourselves by recognizing our dis-ease and doing what it takes to move through it. In Chapter 5 of my book, From Doormat to Sweet Empowerment, I discuss the importance of Building A Supportive Community and this story exemplifies this perfectly.
In order to discover/uncover what is subconsciously bothering you, follow the outline below.
6 Steps to Discover the Cause of Angst:
- Recognize your angst! Give yourself grace and space to feel off-center. Be willing to own your mood and know there is a root thought causing the problem.
- Take it to a mighty companion. If you cannot seem to locate the root of your mood, be willing to ask for help. Talk therapy with someone who knows you and your story can speed up the discovery.
- Sit with the discovery. Revel in the miracle of discovery. Allow yourself to truly feel and understand why you were triggered. Let it sink in.
- Turn your fear around. Find statements that support your healing. As in: This belief is simply not true. I am grateful I was shown this wound so I can heal it further. Amplify your discovery with three or more additional, postitive statements as to why your fear is not true.
- Take ownership of your healing. Be willing to own anything you wrongfully said to your triggering person in attempt to blame outwardly. Share your discovery – give your person a glimpse into your soul. Most often we will find our discovery becomes healing ground for both parties.
- Return to joy. Believe in your turn around statements. Allow your joy to return. You’ve done well!
Oftentimes in life, we don’t take the time to pay attention to ourselves. We allow ourselves to move from one mood to the next without much recognition and continually complain or point outward, thus, never moving through what is really causing all the upheaval. And unfortunately, a large piece of the world operates this way so it’s not often someone will stop us and say, “Hey, what’s going on with you? I’m sensing you’re not yourself, do you need some help?”
When we surround ourselves with truth seekers, healers and awareness chasers, we position ourselves for victory. We no longer have band-wagoners (people who agree with us no matter what) as friends. We have mighty companions who care about our well-being as much as their own. They are beloved souls who are willing to sit in the bog with us as we wade through the muck and uncover/discover the truth all the while loving (not judging) us through it.
Your community matters. YOU matter.
Thank you, Lisa, for being my safe place yesterday. I appreciate and love you.