Truth Telling vs. Judgement
April 15th, 2015
Truth tellers are the people in our lives who support us on our journey. They are the ones who truly love us enough to say the hard truths. Hard truths are the parts of ourselves that we are not yet recognizing for ourselves that others on the outside may see more clearly. They are oftentimes the hidden clues that once recognized and acted upon, could heal us of our self-sabotaging behaviors.
For a sensitive person or a recovering doormat, it is oftentimes extremely difficult to hear the truth about our behaviors and choices because it ignites the inner shame we already feel regarding the subject at hand. Our soul and inner guidance has been quietly urging us in the right direction, but we have not yet been courageous enough to follow it. Subconsciously, we know we haven’t treated ourselves well and we feel ashamed for it. When someone points this out to us, we oftentimes want to lash out because the shame becomes unbearable. We already feel bad enough and we misconstrue their words as attack rather than love.
We tend to use excuses as to why our behavior is okay and sometimes those excuses are finger-pointing at the person who is trying to shed light for us. We may excuse their observations as “this person is just judging me” Or “he/she isn’t accepting me as I am.” Or “why is he/she trying to control my life!”
Regarding a genuine truth teller, this could not be further from the truth.
It is possible that we do indeed have “judgers” in our lives. I will not disclaim that! Most likely, they are the ones who are dealing with the same weaknesses we are (and are in hiding themselves) so they point at us in attempt to keep the focus off of what they, too, are doing. They are most often the low vibrating individuals in our lives that seek to hide their own lack of self-love by projecting that onto us. It can be a fine line discovering who we are dealing with unless we do some serious introspection.
However, the tragedy happens when we completely discount what is being said to us and we immediately barrel into our excuses with loaded guns of defense. Poor listening and immediately firing shots back at the person, never gets anyone anywhere.
For a person who has truly set course for healing their unworthy behaviors, examining the words spoken to us is crucial. We cannot and should not accept all that is coming our way; however, we should take some time to process the information effectively. During this time, we must stay in touch with what we already know for sure.
- What is this person’s character? We know who people are whether we want to admit it or not. As sentient beings, we are privy to far more information than we allow ourselves to admit. A person’s character will tell you if their observation was coming from judgement or coming from love.
- Does this person function from a high level of awareness? Chances are you’ve had more than one conversation with said person. Does he/she live the words they speak? Is it possible they possess some wisdom that you have not yet learned? Are their words resonating in/for you? Based on past observations, is this someone whom I can trust?
- Am I hiding from the truth? As human beings we come equipped with a higher-self and a lower-self. We always have the choice to which self we listen to. The lower-self (ego) can oftentimes be the first voice heard. It’s loud, it’s disruptive, it’s disclaiming and it’s obnoxious. After the ego declares its position, it is the quiet, powerful voice afterward that will speak the truth. At this point, we have a decision to make. Do we listen to the truth? Or do we fall back into our distracting, egoic behaviors that we are used to?
Our distracting/egoic behaviors can feel verrrrry comfortable. In essence, we like it here because it is something we know very well. It’s the place where we stay rooted in our same ol’ perceptions and patterns of yesterday and keep repeating the same un-serving behaviors over and over again.
On the same note, truth can feel verrrry UNcomfortable. Oh, God! This means there is something wrong with me! I’m going to have to step outside my comfort zone to make change happen. I don’t like that! I’m going to find reasons why what I am doing is okay. And we keep on keepin’ on with no real change that could literally alter the course of our experience.
But remember, when we are uncomfortable, we are learning.
The truth tellers in our lives are a blessing from the Universe! I know they don’t feel that way when they ignite our egos and challenge us to be and do better; however, only Love would want better for you than what you have been giving yourself.
All great change starts with a change in perception.
And sometimes that new perception will come via a loving, individual who truly cares about your well-being and your life! It’s a choice to keep our hearts open and it is always our choice as to what we believe or not believe. I will never say, listen to all that comes your way. I will say when someone has the courage to speak openly to you, consider their words. Discover for yourself if they resonate in your soul and be courageous enough to do better for yourself.
Always remember… you matter!