Encouragement Over Advice
December 9th, 2014
I recently attended a seminar where the speaker kept correcting members of the audience. When they asked for her “advice”, she quickly changed the word to “encouragement.” When I heard that, a resounding YES! sprang forward in my mind. I have always been uncomfortable with the word “advice”. Somehow it implied that I was better than another or all-knowing and it came laden with a certain type of pressure. There was a certain degree of self-sabotage that came with that word for me.
When I decided to become a coach/mentor, never did I think I was any more “special” than another. The true push was that I had discovered a way out of the unworthiness that was driving my life and I felt on fire to help lift others out of their suffering as well. I wanted everyone to know the personal freedom and love that was available to us and just how to get there!
The truth of what I do as a mentor and coach is to help remind others who they are, to trust what they already know is true for them and to ENCOURAGE their courageous warrior within. This does not make me better than anyone or some sort of guru. It only means I chose victory over circumstance and prevailed.
In retrospect of my life, I realized that the encourager I am is a gift. It’s not something I cultivated or practiced. It is something that I have always done. It dates as far back as I can remember. It’s part of me. It’s my DNA. In fact, it is so natural to me that I often assumed that everyone was this way and had many times felt hurt when I felt no one had my back or “got” me so to speak.
As time passed I realized that some people are good encouragers and others simply are not. It wasn’t for me to judge them for they had other spiritual gifts to share with the world. It was my responsibility to seek out mentors and teachers that built me up instead of relying on my expectations of others. Instead, I sought out others who had been where I am and had just the right words to encourage my courage to move forward and try doing something differently.
When I heard the speaker switching those two words, I knew had found a better feeling place for myself. A potential block, keeping me from growing my business and reaching greater heights, was diminished in 20 seconds flat. The pressure that one tiny word put on me was gone for good. I don’t give advice, I give encouragement. I help others recognize their worth and make empowering choices that will lead to a better fulfilled life.
In gratitude to my teachers of yesterday, today and tomorrow. Thank you.