Apology Letter to Myself
May 9th, 2017
Dear Sweet Self:
I owe you my deepest apology. I allowed people to treat you as if you didn’t matter. I did not stop people from emotionally and physically abusing you. I ignored your pleas to be heard. Instead I kept seeking love outside of you and kept you in situations where you should have held your head high and walked out.
I didn’t believe there was better love out there. I believed that whatever situation you were in was as good as it would get. I know better now.
I am deeply sorry for putting you through the hell of trying to make you into someone you are not. I could feel you urging me to stop, but I just could not. I didn’t want people to disapprove of your silliness, intelligence, inner beauty and shyness, so I kept you small and hidden. I wanted you to blend in with the crowd so you wouldn’t be made fun of. I’m sorry I dishonored your heart and true essence.
I’m sorry I disrespected your emotions. I only allowed you to feel anger instead of the rainbow of emotions we humans are intended to feel. Emotions that would allow others to see who you really are and connect with you at a soul level.
I’m sorry I compromised your spirit by making you feel powerless to the world. I could feel there was so much more to you, but I was afraid to let the world see who you really are.
I’m sorry I’ve disrespected your body. You very clearly expressed your dislike of alcohol and I didn’t listen because I didn’t want you to stand out. I also allowed men to use your body who did not deserve the sacredness of it. For this I am eternally sorry. I did not understand how precious you really are.
I’m truly sorry I compromised your value by failing to uphold healthy boundaries. I let others walk all over you. I let them hurt you and treat you as if you were nothing other than dirt. You never ever deserved it. It was only a reflection of how little I regarded your worth.
Sweet self, I promise you, I will always, always do my best to protect and love you. You are my priority now. Thank you for unconditionally loving me and forgiving me before I even asked.
I want you to know that I’m in charge now and everything is going to be okay! I have been reborn. I get it now! From this point forward you are my priority.
I love you.